Handicapping the ELLT 2012 Field: Gary Cavanaugh

No one brings more sweat, brawn, and old man strength to the East Luray Liars Triathlon than Gary Cavanaugh


  • Wisdom…as the oldest competitor, Gary has a depth of experience and wisdom and patience and all that old man crap
  • Mad skillz at golf…and probably close to a single-digit handicap
  • Mountain biking skills and speed fueled by Jethro Tull-like screaming
  • Court vision, Rondo-like passing skillz, and the willingness to strip down and use his sweat as a weapon
  • Home court…and home house, and home bed, and home touch on mixing Dark & Stormies (for others)


  • Fear of soccer and heights, which takes him off the pitch and the wall
  • a crappy old mountain bike
  • a home touch on mixing the Dark & Stormies (for himself)
  • and rumor has it a Bruce Springsteen cover band is playing at the Newbury Senior Center on Saturday night, so he may need to leave hoops early

Past Performances

As noted previously, Gary bailed after one hoops game in 2008 and went to see Mr. Dancing in the Dark. In 2009, Gary took on rock climbing and played well at Bradford Country Club. On the Saturday morning mountain bike ride, the woods were echoing with Gary’s yelps and screams and howls. He was riding an early 1990s no suspension made-of-lead-and-steel bike, but still tore up the single track, landing him in third. In hoops, his home court advantage was good for exactly 0 wins, keeping Gary off the overall podium. 2010 sucked. Gary got slide tackled by Owen Heffernan in soccer and never recovered, keeping him out of the rest of the race. In 2011, Gary put his wisdom and years to good use, excusing himself from soccer and climbing, joining the race for golf, where he came in 3rd on his home course. In hoops, Gary was part of the 2nd place team and had the defensive play of the day (highlighted here). Gary missed the podium in a year when the golfers were completely shut-out.

Expectations for 2012

Gary’s absence on the rocks diminishes his overall chances, but…he should medal in golf and hoops, where his team will have the advantage of a bench player. On the bikes, it’s entirely possible Gary could place in the top 5, which would position him well for a place on the overall podium…if…if he doesn’t leave early to go see the Springsteen cover band at the Newbury Senior Center.


2 responses to “Handicapping the ELLT 2012 Field: Gary Cavanaugh

  1. Gary looks like he’s had about 8 of whatever he’s drinking.

  2. Pingback: 2 Days and a Wake-Up: Time for the Overall Odds | East Luray Liars

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